Jill Scott can be so vulgar at times and I love it.

The Thickness - Jill Scott

Whoa!
She a big chick,
Big ol' legs,
Big ol' thighs,
Big ol' hips,
Big ol' ass,
Big ol' tits,

She so big!
Won’t nobody even try to reach her mind
Age 14,
Eyes green,
Young tender, supple, and fine,
Hear them,
all those oohs and ahhs slip as she lick her lips,
Oh, they want to fuck her,
The want to rub their dicks on her precious clitoris,
They want to watch them big gold titties settle and part a bit,
They want to talk about it,
Tell it,
Spread it,
Relive the conquest,
How they beat on that ass and how the knock that shit,

Don’t stop,
Won’t stop,
To recognize that there’s more,
More underneath that thickness,
That sweet and round brown young tender thickness,

Now they like her quiet and eager,
Sweet and meagre,
Shhhhh!
Don’t you complain about my other women,
Just drop that big thick ass on my stiffness,
Make me nut all up on your gut with the quickness,

Don’t stop,
Won’t stop,
Lift it,
Yea girl lift it,
Lift it baby,
Drop it again,
Cause I aint your tribesmen no more,
I aint your friend,
Come on girl just let me in,
Let me into all that thickness,
That sweet and round brown supple bigness,

Cause she so big won’t nobody even try to reach her mind,
She’s been degraded, exploited, NOT celebrated,
Saturated with self hatred,

Let me say that again please:
She’s been degraded, exploited, NOT celebrated,
Saturated with self hatred,
Cause every time she turns on the TV,
What does she see, big ol' booty,
And it don’t have nothing to do with the song,

Thus, her definition of beauty,
Thus, her definition of beauty,

Oh, oh, oh Lord,
Oh Lord,
Oh Lord,

Let her,
Let her recognize the magnificence you've created,
Lift her,
Lift her,
Lift her,

Let her be elevated,
Let her be elevated,
Lord, Lord,
Let her be elevated,
Let her be elevated,

Cause she is so big,
She so big,
She so big,
She so big,
She so big,
She so big,
She so big,
She so big,

Let her be elevated,
Let her be elevated.

"How am I gonna tell my husband my son is a hetrosexual? He gonna have a fit!"

This dumb bitch who got prank called doesn't know heterosexual = straight. Dumb hoe.

Muse's Random Monday Musings

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I need a EFFING vacation!

I'm not sure if you all remember this or not but...

The Excitable Bore and I went to Miami earlier this year and had an absolute BLAST!!! With cold temps and snow and ice (effing ice + hard bottoms = disaster, btw) returning to the mid-Atlantic, I want to go back. Plus, the first week of this new position is giving me all I can handle.

This pic taken from our hotel balcony brings back a lot of fun little South Beach memories.

Like the time we met up with That Dude Right There and he said I looked Arab because of the beard I was rocking at the time. I'm still NOT amused by that. I was most certainly amused when that French waitress got his southern ass RIGHT together for trying to speak Spanish to her when she CLEARLY said she was French. The half-naked men and women and warm weather and palm trees and beaches. Blah, blah, blah. I want it all, like...right now.

I need a vacation.

Read this and wanted to share it. Hope someone benefits from the message.

Failure does not prevent success. In fact, failure is what leads to success.

There is no failure, no disappointment, no mistake in your past that can stop you from taking a positive step forward right now. No matter how many times you may have fallen short of the mark before, success is closer than ever.

Each time you get it wrong, you learn more about how to get it right. Keep putting that growing knowledge and experience to use, and you'll reach your goal.

Every disappointment you've ever known is now in the past. The past is over and cannot hold you back.

Now is when you're able to move forward. Today you can take the valuable lessons you've learned and transform them into effective action.

Every step you've taken, whether it seemed to work or not, has brought you closer to success. Now go ahead and take the additional steps that will bring you all the way there.

-- Ralph Marston

I'm sure I'm breaking a Commandment by liking this track, but whatev.

I've had this song on repeat for much of this week and last. It's like watching a really bad car accident on the side of the road. I know I shouldn't be this into it, but I am. I'm usually Neyo's antithesis, but [random D.C. boy] 'dis joint cranks hard, yung.[/random D.C. boy]

I can't front on Ne-Old or Oldie Foxx. They did their old man thing with this one.

I'm having a fucking cigarette. Sue me.

I'm not a huge [cigarette] smoker, but since I do enjoy one every now and then, I've gotta exhale on this one. Pun intended.

With that said, people are so fucking ridiculous when it comes to dealing with people who smoke. Like, really fucking ridiculous.

Smokers are always either being banished to the one heat lamp outside of the club or a seedy alley around back or a bus shelter retrofitted as a smoker's refuge (damn my office building) and it's not right.

If you aren't being banished, then you're being blacklisted. Folks at my last job we sooo anti-tobacco that I used to have to throw on my camouflage, walk alllllllll the way to the end of the building, sit in between these two shrubs and hope that I blend in just to be out of plain sight. Then, when I walked back into the office, I had to grab mints and head straight to the bathroom to wash my hands before heading back to my cube.

Yeah, it was that serious.

The way I see it, murderers get free food, clothes, shelter and a shot at a free degree or two on the people's dime while behind bars, rapists and perverts get to roam freely in our communities insofar as they place themselves on a list, yet you wanna blackball and send me to the back cus I want a puff?!?!? Getthefuckouttahere.

Not for nothing, my [black] President smokes and runs the free world. So, you really ain't got shit to say to me....at least not for the next four years, you don't.

Anyway, please get into my experience this morning while walking thru Johns Hopkins' medical campus on my way to the subway station around the corner.

And if one person tells me I could avoid this by not smoking or that I need to not smoke or anything referencing not smoking, I'm going to lay you out. I know all the risks and dangers associated. I don't need to hear that bullshit again.

You've been warned.

---

Me: (walking briskly cus it's cold as fuck....stops for a second to light up....continues walking briskly)

Officer: (hops out of his little security booth on the corner like he's fucking Clark Kent or some shit) There's no smoking in this area, sir. You're going to have to put that out.

Me: Oh, I'm not standing here. I just stopped to light it.

Officer: Sir, there is no smoking anywhere within these blue boxes on this side of the street. You're going to have to put that out.

Me: Are you kidding me? I'll cross the street then.

Officer: There's no smoking over there either.

Me: I walk this same route everyday and see people smoking as they walk and no one has ever stopped them. It's cold, sir. My ciggie and I will head to the other side of the street to appease you. Good day.

Officer: If you walk through those blue boxes on the ground while smoking, I'm writing you a ticket. I've advised you of the law.

Me: What?!? You're being so fucking ridiculous right now. Fine.

(take a loooong Angela Bassett-esque final drag, throws cig to ground and outs it with my shoe)

Me: I'll put it out. When I get to the end of this street, then I'll light another. I hope you find a better way to entertain yourself while you spend your whole day in the freezing cold than bothering people about smoking outside.

OJ Is A Hot Ass Pathetic Mess

I know I'm a little late with this, but so is OJ Simpson.

The sentence handed down against OJ Friday night in Las Vegas wasn't the type of sentence you get for stabbing two people, one of them your ex-wife and mother of two of your children, to death. The minimum of nine years Simpson got from that judge was for being a bum.

When he stopped getting by on his immense talent for carrying the football -- and he was about as great at doing that as anyone who ever lived -- Simpson thought he could get by on charm and on the fact that he used to be somebody on the football field. He couldn't act. He was just another guy on the broadcast booth. The only success he had on television was when he ran through those airport terminals in old Hertz commercials.

And then, when he was first accused of killing his former wife and Ron Goldman, what was his first instinct? He ran in that white Bronco. He was pathetic that day and has been pathetic since that day even if he was acquitted in this murder trial.

What really happened Friday night in Vegas, after that pathetic plea to the Judge, was that OJ Simpson finally stopped running.

Marcus Patrick really needs to give up this whole pretending to be straight thing.

There's only so many excuses I can make to defend this man's supposed hetro status. Let's run down his resume: he strips often in front of majority male crowds, he posed fully nude for Playgirl magazine and its notoriously gay following (see pic about for visual proof) and now he's doing whatever this is with B. Scott.

Bwhahahaha @ him still holding on to that girlfriend/fiancee of his.

Note the erect penis during the lap dance toward the end of the video. In what world does a straight man get aroused by a tranny and allow said tranny to perform a lapdance...on the internet?

Speaking of androgyny, I just don't get the guys who's into that. The only hybrids in this world should be on the road and made my Toyota.

Awww Skeet Skeet Goddamn!!!!

You know that skin-on-skin sound two sweaty bodies make when you're REALLY getting it in at 3am in the morning when you know you're roommate is out of town? You know, that "I-know-we-really-need-to-quiet-down-but-fuck-them-neighbors" popping sound that usually means you've officially entered the matrix and the sex is out of this world.

Don't front like you don't. And if you really are clueless, then that's unfortunate.

Well, I'm not sure where it's coming from or what's going on in this office, but I've been hearing something that sounds awfully erotic somewhere in this building. Construction workers have been in and out since I've been working here because they're adding retail space to the outside ground level, but I just looked outside and I don't see any of their trucks or hairy ass cracks.

I've been hearing this sound off and on for the last hour and have reached a conclusion: either someone's getting ran through/smutted out in the office next door or we have ghosts.

Stay tuned for details.